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don't stop your growing.

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collected notes on writing

8/21/2020

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tell the truth: how do u make me feel visible
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Grace Chin for Design Sponge
some days i feel dry and empty, all hollow and frustrated, because i do not lack the desire to make, but the words aren't there.
never fear. sometimes these are the days to learn, instead of explore. i like to read and learn and be pushed in directions. it becomes an exploration, and i write, whether i am simply taking notes or stumbling into a guided tour of new territory.
following are some of these quotes i have found and loved. perhaps just a sentence will speak to you.
xo
m
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Vincent van Gogh, from a letter to Theo van Gogh written c. March 1882 ​
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Heather O’Neill
❝When I write, I bring all of my truths, even the Judas-truths that make me feel like the betrayer whose dirty hands are resting on the table for everyone to see, including God. For me, writing is less a declaration of those truths than it is my interrogation of them. Uncovering the darkness in me that led to some of the poems about my brother also lights up the hard, bright way in which I love him and the small wars I wage to win him back. The monsters and hoofermen I choose to look in the eyes and teeth when considering my rez and this country’s history are also the truths that have built in me a strength and compassion that help me to survive this world. Truth is that little animal we chase and chase until we suddenly glance over our shoulder and realize it has been chasing us all along.
- Natalie Diaz, for the Poetry Society of America
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❝Writing is a dangerous profession. There is no telling what hole you may rip in society’s carefully woven master narrative.
- Danielle Orner 
❝Poem that opened you –
The opposite of a wound
Didn’t the world
Come pouring through?
​- Gregory Orr,  How Beautiful the Beloved
❝Poetry does not provide a narrative for you to subscribe to. Poetry erodes your confidence in narratives as a means of experiencing and understanding the world. I do not think there is anything on this planet that can do that with anywhere near the same ferocity and grace. I cannot speak for other planets.
- Roberto Montes, interviewed by Liz Axelrod for Luna Luna
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introduction to death - tarot

8/10/2020

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Welcome,

​​I hope you are doing well today. Today, my goal is to try to help transform the idea of Death as scary and unfamiliar into one that is a natural part of life that we can grow more comfortable with.
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Characteristics in Tarot
Major Arcana: XIII
Zodiac Sign: Scorpio
Element: Water
Trait: Fixed
​Ruling Planet: Pluto 
​
What does the Death card mean?

In sum, Death is as it sounds: a literal leaving of one plane of life into another. In another sense, Death is a metaphor for rebirth. It is making a realization about one's self, situation, or environment that encourages us to move on from the negative aspects and create a new scenario for ourselves. Much like the phoenix arising from its own ashes, we are all human, re-emerging stronger through each difficult situation in our lives that we have had to face.

Often times this card scares people because of the deep emotional energy that is grounded in it. People see Death and read this literally. They think of the loss of a loved one, a family member, a coworker. Likely this is because we as humans are naturally scared of Death, for it is a phase of life that we know nothing about. We dread the unknown. We stay in jobs we don't like for too long for fear that another job could be worse. We stay in relationships that may not fully benefit us because we are scared of the potential of another partner. We hold onto toxic behaviors to cope with our struggles because we are scared of what it would look like if we didn't act in a certain way.

However, a slight change in perspective will tell us that Death is not simply a trek from the known into the unknown. It will instead present to us the idea that we are moving away from the negative and into the positive. When the Death card appears, it is not telling us that there is a situation on the horizon that we will be unable to handle. In fact, many times it can mean quite the opposite: the universe is gifting us with the ability to grow and move forward because it knows we are capable of doing so. This cards presents to us the exciting possibilities and opportunities that lie ahead, the potential for us to become more in tune with our true selves and make decisions that will inevitably lead us to become happier individuals.
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Affirmations

Something that we must remind ourselves is that we are not our situations. We are not permanent, nor is anything we do. At the end of the day, the decisions we make are ultimately going to affect how we feel and identify as people, and if these actions and behaviors reflect our true selves. It is up to us to decide how we want to live in this impermanence.

When you see Death in your life, try to think of something you are holding onto that may be causing you pain. Acknowledge it, recognize that it exists and affects you. Hold it for a moment, say goodbye, and then let it go. Then, when you are ready, look forward. Forward is where your potential, your love, your true self will ultimately lie.

​Death will be waiting for you.
​
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soap is a queer library-enthusiast-turned-English-grad. She spends her time shuffling tarot, reading any LGBTQ+ lit she can get her hands on, and indulging in an obscene amount of Cheez-its. Email for a reading at temperant.tarot@gmail.com or find her serving the spiritual tea on Insta at @temperant.tarot

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august tarot: go after it

8/1/2020

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tarot is an introspective practice involving a deck of cards pulled in response to a question, prompting the reader to consider the question in the context that the card(s) provide. look out for tarot practices, sometimes featuring corresponding poetry or writing prompts, littering the blog in the future, as it's essential to some of our creative and self care routines x

first up, a month ahead spread... happy august!
​​
how might you approach the coming month? month ahead spreads and forcasts can assist you in moving forward with intention.

🕯 one: what overall energy might the next month hold?
🕯 two: leave this behind in the last month; it may no longer serve you
🕯 three: take this with you into the next month
🕯 four: pursue this
🕯 five: practice this self care

consider pulling oracle cards alongside tarot as you feel comfortable with.

onward, with grace 💛
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​🕯overall energy: son of wands
passion, energy, confidence, pursuit
🕯 leave behind: the magician
indirection, roundabout approach, a need for control
🕯 take with: the lovers, reversed
respect, love, joy, all sans requirement is permanence to accept
⛲️ pursue: six of swords, reversed
recovery, moving on from the past, presence
⛲️ self care: the fool, reversed, i am the weaver of my reality
examine your current routine and find what energizes you to begin.
decks used: the wild unknown + the moon deck
​
take care,
​m
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m wilder

is a pansexual poet-yogi-youth librarian, found here and here,  armed with cold brew, poetry books, and a lot of questions. M's words may be found puddled in paper, and in various journals too, including Glass Poetry, Rogue Agent, NYT online, Teen Librarian Toolbox, and Monstering. Ghost City Press released M's chapbook, Kept Promise Ghost Eater. follow her tarot practice here.
​she/they.

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