a journal on recovery by anonymous

the following is about recovering from self harm. please read in a way that will keep you safe. this is how they got to March.

I’m about 6 months clean!!!!!!! It’s been tough and there have been a few almost relapses but I haven’t, I’ve stayed strong and I’m so proud of myself! I never thought I could stay strong for this long! ​🌱 ​​

​After a traumatic event that occurred last December, I thought that it would never get better. I just want to say that I have been having more and more good days and I am so proud of myself for getting out of the darkest time I've gone through so far. And yes there are bad days but I know that the next day will usually be better. One of the sayings that really helped is that healing is not linear. You will have both good days and bad days. It will get better. It might not seem like it but it will 🌱 ​​

Going through a bit of a relapse but it’s ok because now I know that I am strong enough to get through it like I did last time. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from struggling so much is that I am so strong and can absolutely beat this and recover. PSA to anyone else struggling: you are strong enough too! I believe in you and I know that you are strong enough to beat whatever you’re struggling with! 🌱 ​​

The past few years (last year especially) have been incredibly tough for me but the past few months have been such an incredible period of growth and recovery and I’m really proud of myself and how far I’ve come. I got away from all the toxic “friends” I was hanging around with and while that was incredibly hard, I’m doing so much better now. I have a job I love at a doggy day care and I’m even 8 months clean. For the first time in a very long time I can honestly say I’m happy. ​🌱 ​

At the end of this month (March) I will be one year clean. ​​​ I do not know the exact date, because I thought knowing the exact date would just make it so much harder when I inevitably relapsed. But I didn’t. Out of the nearly 365 days, not once did I self harm. I had some real close calls sure but over time I realized that hurting myself wasn’t what I actually wanted to do. Most of the time I just needed to take a step back and be gentle with myself, practice a little self care. I no longer needed to hurt myself in order to find a release of express my emotions. I have learned so much about myself, especially about how strong I am. I have come such a long way on a very long bumpy road but I am so glad I did and I am so unbelievably proud of myself. I also just want to thank you for creating this safe space for me to share my struggles and thank you for always giving encouragement. I am forever grateful. Thank you. 🌱