First GradeIn first grade I wore denim shorts to school every single day, even in the winter. I was trying to prove something. My parents were divorcing, and I wanted to be tough. So I wore my long denim shorts, hand-me-downs from my older brother, and I wore my black Raiders jersey and a backwards baseball cap. It was a costume that lasted a long while, a uniform that meant I wouldn’t cry or talk about my feelings. And after a while of not talking about them my feelings went away, like gods without any worshipers. Weather GirlIn high school my plan was to be a weather girl. I was pretty enough for it, or at least my friends said so. Weather girls seemed polished and glamorous on television, and they all spoke with such confidence about this storm or that stretch of sunshine. Maybe wanting to be a weather girl was less about the weather and more about wanting to know something, anything. Wanting to look up at the sky and understand.
You are the most important person in your life. it’s true. you are the single most important thing needed for your own health and safety. that does not mean you are the center of my universe or anyone else’s but you shouldn’t be. you are the center of your own universe. don’t let this concept let you become arrogant or self righteous. you can be your own worst enemy you can hate yourself and want to no longer exist but despite that your heart continues pumping and your lungs continue to breathe and your brain may be an asshole but at its base, the brain stem it keeps you alive. there are so many things pulling for you and trying to keep you here and i for one am one of them. live for the good times that come in the future for you. live for the laughter and loving your friends and your family and your pets. live for all the experiences you would miss out on if you ceased to exist. live for yourself and all that you are going to do that is worth living for. how about that- if you have a moment listen to “Its All Worth Living For” by an artist named Levi the Poet. he expresses a similar sentiment far more eloquently than i. but always remember. you are the most important person in your universe and staying alive is the most important thing to you. don’t deny all the years of evolution that have culminated in you. if you were weak you would have been elimated a long time ago and if you got this far, you can make it all the way. your shoulders can bear the load. don’t be afraid to ask for help. you do not need to be atlas. ask your friends or family or significant other or your community. if you don’t have anyone else, ask me and i will led my strength but don’t forget it. you’re so important to me and you’re the most important to yourself Tobias Kersey |
