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issue 02.

two poems: i promised i'd dance on your grave / faith by Zoé Grangier

12/23/2019

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Oh the furious women
Discheveled
Bloodied
Broken
I'd let my lungs crawl out
If it meant you'd give me back my voice
Oh how many times
Did you decided
Your heartbeat would engulf mine
Choking the blood out of my brain
Who are you
You injurious monster
You quiet beast
So ready to tear out
Craddling my cheeks
Sending shots of pain
Through my panicked eyes
I would've bitten you
I would've fought with every last bit of desperate energy
My wretched and weak body could hold inside
I would've yelled
I would've dismembered my shoulders
To escape your merciless hands
Oh i am inhabited
By something bigger
Something larger than my anger
Something even you couldn't bleed the life out
Oh don't think i'll forget so easily
I've built myself on bruises and memories
Every inch of skin raw and scarred
Don't you think i know
From which caves of my mind
These scabs emerged from
Oh i may be monstrous and wounded
You're not done hearing my screams
Oh i hope i'll haunt you
Oh i hope you'll remember
The edge of my teeth
And how it felt
When i finally gut your heart out of your mouth
​
-i promised i'd dance on your grave
It seems wrong for me
To write about this dangerous word
Do I know faith
Is it the kind of thing
You get taught
Is it a thing that people
Plaster their own meaning on
Before handing it to you
Or is it how you name
What you feel
When you leaf through
The book that helped you
Through all those years
Or when you wander through
A forest bathed in sunrise
And it feels like the word morning
Was only meant for you
The universe is big
And vast
And complicated
Unconceivable for our
Little eyes
And yet
We still stare in awe
At autumn leaves
And far away planets
As a wave drip on our
Amazed hands
Maybe one day I'll let
Myself put on that tide
A title that'll say
I do not know
The proper words and
The correct vocabulary of
Your meaning
But this absence explains
Why I need you

-faith

Zoé Grangier

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    Cover photograph by Keith Moul
    Here you will find dancers. Wild women. Mad women. Girls who are sad no longer. Doctors and texts and broken glass. Pieces of us. Parts of you. Welcome in.

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